By popular demand, I have decided to put this piece together for the
guys so that we can have a balanced perspective of the topic under
consideration. As there are men to be cautious of, so also do we have
some women that men need to be very careful of before deciding to have
serious and focused relationships with them
Kindly note that to be cautious is to pay attention to safety, to be
prudent and to be careful. Therefore, I want to emphasize that this
write-up is not an attempt in any way to write off anyone because once
there is life, there is still hope that people can change. Rather, it’s a
wakeup call to make sure whenever you get into relationship with these
type of people, you need to slow down and double check if the journey is
really worth it.
Guys, there are some ladies you cannot just decide to date or marry due
to their attitudes which may not be healthy in your marriage. And since
no one wants to spend his life managing crisis in marriage, there is
need to give very careful consideration anytime such characters are
spotted before saying yes-I-do.
The Unforgiving. Forgiveness is a very essential
ingredient in having a successful marriage because when two people come
together, there is bound to be offences here and there due to adjustment
process which is a result of varying systems of upbringing. Men
especially, could be very careless most of the time and offend their
spouses without knowing it. The question now is, if you have a lady in
your life that doesn’t forgives easily, how many baggage of
unforgiveness would she have to keep dragging along in your life? With
such a woman in your life, you may not move forward as you should
because unforgiveness keeps her down, drags her backwards and makes her
keep focusing on the past which invariably makes little or nothing
happen for you in life. It may work perfectly well in other institutions
but in marriage, such attitude will not make both of you go far because
it’s an aura that automatically spreads
This type of lady bottles up her anger and harbour resentments till a
day she feels your cup has run over then she explodes! She hardly lets
go of offences even after you might have apologised to the best of your
ability. She is very good at recalling past mistakes and offences as far
back as five years with detailed report of how you messed up. Some
couples have been married for almost ten years now yet the wife is still
bitter against her in-laws and invariably formed an opinion about them
due to the fact that they didn’t complete the traditional items they
were to bring during the wedding. When she is angry, most of the times,
she refuses to open up despite a lot of petting. When she shuts down,
she does so completely and nothing changes her mind till sometimes when
she is able to retaliate the hurt. Some of these ladies even take things
over board and result into violence. For such, give a careful
consideration if you must go ahead in marriage with them.
The Uncommitted/Unfaithful. Yes, she is never committed
to the relationship which eventually results in unfaithfulness. She
brings little or nothing to the table and is quite difficult to please.
She threatens to break the relationship at intervals, at the slightest
provocation and most of the time, she does. To her, she has got nothing
to lose and that’s why she foot drags on taking the relationship to the
next level. Due to her lack of commitment, she may find it difficult
introducing you to her family and friends despite your constant request
neither is she ready at will to meet with yours. Even when she does, she
would never want you to come close to them. Most of the conversations
she is excited to have with you are basically on ephemeral issues not
having anything to do with the seriousness of the relationship.
At times, ladies who have issues of commitment in a relationship do so
because they are sexually promiscuous or just keeping you as a second
fiddle till the exact kind of guy they really want would show up. This
lady would employ some sort of delay tactics and keep you waiting for
long before getting her response to your marriage proposal. Her excuses?
“I’m still praying and I’m still considering some things”. Hey, she
already has her answer the very first time you proposed marriage to her
but would just like to drag it just in case a “better” guy comes along.
The Non-Teachable. Like I mentioned above, I actually
believe that none of us is perfect yet. No matter how good we think we
are, our weaknesses and flaws are still as obvious as anything. But the
good thing is that we make effort and we are willing to improve on
ourselves on daily basis which is the best thing anyone can allow happen
to himself or herself. However, when a lady is haughty and cocky then
she can’t come down from her high horse to learn, she is simply the
non-teachable type because she believes she is at her best and expects
any guy that she is involved with come down to her level and adjust to
her way of life rather than both ways. Let’s consider a situation where a
lady is so uncouth when it comes to the word of her mouth. In all
sincerity, she still needs to be given the benefit of the doubt and be
allowed to work on herself over a period of time without any iota of
rejection. But where the concern lies is if she is not convinced that
there is something repulsive about the way she talks and despite all
attempts to point her in the right direction, she always comes up with a
that-is-me kind of attitude, then it leaves much to be desired. She is
not teachable and doesn’t have the capacity to embrace change. I
wouldn’t want anyone to be caught in that illusion that they can change
anyone. As a matter of fact, there is little or nothing you can do about
it. She has her own way of doing things even when she is being
introduced to a superior way, she will still find it difficult to accept
because she is fixated. Most of the time, when she is being corrected,
she feels it’s your personal way of life you are trying to impose on her
so she immediately builds a wall of resistance against it. A
non-teachable lady is usually an arrogant one.
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